Jesus, Break Me please :'(

Jesus? Are you there? I'm so stressed out!!!!!

Life was going relatively well..at least for a while. Then I made a bad decision, which has taken me away from my Sweet Jesus :'(!! How can I keep going when all I seem to do is cause pain and heartache for people??

I've been working on plans to move to CO where God and Jesus are directing my path, so that I can grow more in them and run hard for them. So I can be in continuous fellowship with other believers. I was blessed with a job on Sept 20, 2010,,and then lost my job this past Saturday Dec. 4th. I was so dependent on that job considering I hadn't had a job n 13 mths. I was so upset and so distraught I honestly thought that I was alone yet agin...

I know I'm not the best person, but I'm trying. For the last few days, I have been doing a lot of praying and crying. I haven't put my trust where in needs to be...JESUS! I've been so anxious about everything and I know I'm not supposed to because Philippians 4:7 says do not be anxious.

I feel like a FAILURE and have wanted to crawl in a hole and die...I've been sooo occupied with myself...sick...sick...SICK!!!!! I so want to be in a relationship wit the guy I'm eventually gonna marry, and I ask about it constantly...when in reality I need to love Jesus more!! That's one reason why CO is a great opportunity for me!!

I'm going to grow more in my relationship, grow more in fellowship, to jst be able to run hard with other believers, and to use my heart, and my love for people to help the team. It was one long hard year and I know Tht God is using my life majorly..SO WHY CAN'T I TRUST HIM WITH MY LIFE?!?!!

Noralyn Petrea Cook, you need to stop letting Satan control your emotions and your life!!!! Live your life glorifying God and Jesus!!!!! I only want to be soo broken and so n love with my Savior who thought of me and you on that cross!!! I want to be so on fire that everyone will know who has made me life better.

I mean, right now, I'm worried I won't get a job to pay rent or pay for anything... :'( I dont want my dad to disown me if I ruin his credit score...I want to be able to do it all on my own. I want to not have to depend on anyone :'( I want to be someone people can be proud of...I want to always encourage others...

Jesus, help me to claim your Truth and your Power in me..help me to be a better person...help me to trust you in finding a job and earning enough money to support myself....JESUS BREAK ME....PLEASE SHOW ME HOW TO ALWAYS TRUST YOU AND YOUR WORD...HELP ME TO KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME SOO UNCONDITIONALLY THAT THE LOVE WILL SHOW THRU TO OTHERS!!!!!!!

Please, sweet Jesus, my protector, my strength, my song, my light, BREAK ME!!!!!!!!!!! Please dnt let me stay on rock bottom where I've been for the last 2 mths. I love youu Jesus and I want this unconditional crazy love for you and I want others to see that love in all aspects of my life!!!!!!!! :'(

So break me, teach me to trust and you will provide. Please lover don't leave me here alone help me...please give me verses and people who will remind me to put my identity in you....

I love youu <3 <3